I used to be like many of the whiners here on Nairaland, “Oh I'm so in
love with this babe but she's treating me badly, what do I do? what do I
do?”. That was a long time ago and now I am wise and believe me I
learnt from the school of hard knocks, this women dealt with me
mercilessly until I actually sat down to analyze them and their ways
and figured out the language they speak. If you think maintaining a
woman is about excess love, showing affection, kindness, forgiveness,
religion and all that bullsh*t, you're dead wrong, treat a woman too
good, she will find an excuse to leave ( “I was once dumped by a chick
who later told her friend, I was 'too nice'.”). But they will stay with
an “omo rapala” that mistreats them day after day after day.
Even fellowship girls are still tempted by young men of the world and
leave their fellow fellowship brothers to look for bad boys to convert.
They are never satisfied with a squeaky clean good man. To them every
guy that is too good is a nuisance. Even the ones that are married have
only calmed down and become good in order to trap a husband that
offers
them security or at least a husband that has managed to figure out
their buttons. Be wise, young men, be wise.
Maintaining women of
all shapes ages and sizes is all about control and remaining in
control. The moment you lose control, you lose yourself and a woman will
ride you till the very end. Some people say all sorts of rubbish, “Oh
my woman is not like that, she's different”, all that one na story, Eve
betrayed Adam, Delilah betrayed Samson, so who on earth is your woman
that she won't act like those that came before her?
There are
different levels of control, there is no control, artificial control and
true control. No control is the default situation most guys fall into.
They love a woman and believe everything she says in the heat of passion
”I'll never ever leave you”, “I can't wait to marry you” etc etc, and
deceive themselves into overconfidence and over love. A no control guy
does not know how to tell his babe no and is always apologizing even
when it is not his fault. When they start exhibiting too much attention
and love, the chick gets bored and starts looking for “rude boys”
somewhere. Then her mind starts wavering and she starts telling you “I
need space”, “I'm confused”. When you hear these words you're in
trouble.
Unfortunately most young guy today no dey hear word and
they will start reminiscing about the sweet nothings the babe told them
when the going was good and continue to misbehave and show over love and
over affection. Meanwhile one bad guy fit dey comb the babe for corner
somewhere. In the end the chick leaves and the guy is in a wreck,
crying, complaining to his friends begging etc and at that point the
girl no go wan hear again, anything you're saying is a waste of time. A
chick will bring up some of the dumbest excuses when she wants to dump
you. She might regret leaving you later but all that one na Tales By
Moonlight what matters is the wrecked condition she will leave you in at
that moment.
The next level of control is artificial
control. Artificial control works a lot in Nigeria today, and people
exercise this level of control primarily by having money. This is what
the so called big boys and sugar daddies use to maintain their babes.
Some poor guys starving on their pocket money and University allowances
even try to maintain this level of control to their own downfall. With
artificial control a girl might screw around but will not really leave
you until she finds another guy with better control than you. The best
way to use artificial control is ruthlessly, if you have money and
control them with money make sure you take no crap from them or else
they will turn you to a MUGU and you fall into the no control category
even though you have money.
Remember money is relative. Some guy
has more than you somewhere. Some guys exercise artificial control
through other means as well, such as being older, being in a bigger
office, better school, living in a bigger house etc. Until the chick
meets someone with better control she will not leave but always remember
you are in control and use it to your advantage. Don't boast about it
though as they really hate it when you point out that the reason they
are with you is because of artificial control ( even though we know its
true). All those threads written by sacked bankers on Nairaland who have
lost their babes are a result of the artificial control category.
Control go, babe go.
Guys without money should remember this (
University boys open your eyes) the moment you start spending to
maintain control, you will never stop and this is a problem when you do
not have money so students, graduate trainees and people without money
should avoid money artificial control as much as possible. You will only
wreck yourself financially, because they will only get greedier and you
will find out you cannot keep up and she will use the money you have
used to better her looks, wardrobe and her life to find a replacement
for you. They always want to upgrade. If you have money to spend it is
okay to use artificial control just make sure you do it in a responsible
way, not in a way chicks will use “MUGU” to replace your name on their
phones.
The last control category is true control. Maintain
this level of control and you are the true guru. You are the Don Juan,
the guy women trip and fall down for regardless of whether or whether
not. The true control man is in control of EVERYTHING. He will not chase
a babe he cannot control or who he knows will want to lord over him.
Before he spends his money on a woman he makes sure that she knows who
is in control and spends his money sparingly, in fact she might spend
more than him. If she tells him she is in her male corpers friends
house sleeping because she does not have light he laughs and tells her
“I hope he knows how to screw well, I know you're probably lonely”. It
might pain him inside but you will never see it, because he knows that
if she finds out he is jealous he is finished, if she feels he is not
jealous, she will correct herself and find call him 20 times a day to
make sure he truly loves her.
The guy who shouts at his babe
and tells her what sort of nonsense is that ( why should she sleep in
Mr Corper-With-Generator's house) is maintaining artificial control, she
will tell him she won't do it again and do it the next day and for the
next 10 months, and get combed mercilessly by Mr. Corper-With-Generator
and his colleagues. It takes 10 minutes for a quickie and that place
does not have a gauge you will use to measure who did and did not do
when she comes back. Artificial control men and no control men should
take note.
In fact most of the accomplished true control guys
have barricaded their hearts a long time ago. They show affection
strategically and when a chick leasts expects it. They are not always
complete bast@rds, they will send flowers and call a babe to check on
how she is doing but they do it strategically and sparingly. Too much of
ice cream and chocolate is not good. Too much visiting of woman is not
good. Calling her more than she calls you is an equally silly idea. If
she calls twice call once. What bothers other guys does not bother men
of true control. Even if they love a chick they will never show it more
than the chick shows it. They say I love you three times a year. This
sort of guy might love a chick but still screw one or two around to
ensure that he remains in control of his senses.
Sex is sex,
love is a different kettle of fish. Sex helps you keep things in
perspective. Screw one woman too much, you might become silly and lose
control. Fidelity is over rated my brothers, you can love a woman but
don't confuse it with being faithful. If she suspects you are screwing
outside, thats okay for them, just make sure you're never caught and she
only suspects, suspicion is good, it keeps her on her feet, she knows
she can be replaced. When she sees that text message on your phone, tell
her “you are the only one for me “ and buy enough “ chocolate and
flowers” and then leave her to think. But NEVER keep two chicks, you
should have one chick and the occasional ones you are chopping outside
to maintain perspective and self-control, that way you won't create
unnecessary problems for yourself. If you are not on the financial
capability of Atiku Abubakar, polygamy is a bad idea. If you can retain
control without screwing outside, fine for you. But the day your woman
is caught screwing outside, you will feel seriously cuckolded and feel
like a fool.
A true control guy will NEVER date a woman he cannot
control. A woman who does not respect you is one you have no control
over, these women do not understand equality, look at the divorce rate
in America ! A true control guy has ALL control but he never uses money
to control too much. He never makes it about money or how much he has.
Most true control guys have more money than the women they control,
other much more skilled true control guys may have less money but always
make sure that she knows who is boss. Because once you let a women
who's money is longer than yours gain control, you are finished. A true
control guy also has koboko control ( meaning he knows how to give it
to her in bed, if you do not know better learn by hiring a skilled Pay
As You Go or else she will leave you for the first Mr. Magic Stick). In
fact koboko control is way better than money control. Look at Kimora Lee
Simmons and Djimon Honsou, you go no say na koboko dey at work, no be
by fine face or too much money. ( No offense to Russel Simmons but he
had artificial control).
A true control guy also has fashion
control, he knows how to dress and be neat ( it might not be the most
expensive stuff he wears but he looks smart and neat always, he has
fashion sense). A true control guy also knows how to tell his babe no
and stick to his no. They rarely say “I'm sorry” and always make a chick
laugh or some other tactic to avoid using those words. A chicks friends
will beef this sort of guy in public and on forums like Nairaland and
berate their friends for dating him but will secretly dream of screwing
him. It even helps when the guy acts nice to the chicks friends, but not
too nice (as in we are all age-mates level, respect must be maintained
at all costs, chicks know how to disrespect a guy who plays with them
too much). All men should strive to attain true control. True control
will give you peace of mind and undying attention.
Be wise, my
brothers be wise, enough of these tears on Nairaland. These days more
men come here to complain than women. This is a war we have to win at
all costs. For the sake of the male reputation. For more advice, I am
here all week. Remember I have been beaten before but I am now wise, I
exercise true control now and take no nonsense from them. If you let
them bring you down they will finish you and your village people will
say it is the work of juju and your uncles and aunties.