Charles Novia's critique of Tonto Dike's songs

Tonto's Terrible Tremolo
by Charles Novia.

I have restrained myself
for a couple of years from
commenting on Tonto
Dike's career after my last
comments about her role
in the soft porn movie she
acted in two years back,
were badly taken by her
and she went on twitter to
hurl infantile insults on my
person with expletives and
uncomplimentary remarks.
My reaction to such then
was just a dignified silence.
After all, I had already
spoken on her stunted
talent as an up and coming
actress and further
comments on her
incensed tweets were
unnecessary.
Continue to see the rest...

All through the past few hours,
the social media networks have
been abuzz with the new singles
of actress, Tonto Dike. She
seems to have joined the actors
of her ilk who have the
moonlighting itch to delve into
singing. While no one can stop
such an ambition by those
artistes, I do think those who
surround such artistes are their
worst enemies if they can't tell
them the truth about leaving
their sometimes doubtful day
job. Well, I will! I listened to Miss
Dike's two singles a few minutes
ago and my initial
speechlessness morphed to a
nagging laughter and then
subsided into a befuddled
anguish. I'm a music label
owner (November Records) and
have produced and Executive
Produced acts like Majek Fashek,
Terry tha Rapman, Zubby
Enebeli etc. I know much about
music and the slant of
commercial music. But after
listening to Miss Dike's songs,
I'm inclined to align with the
majorly negative comments
about them on cyberspace. Ah-
ah! Whoever produced her
knew she has a bad voice for
singing and masked our
listening torture with the
Autotune effect. But even the
Autotune rejected any attempt
to make a bad voice worse and
Miss Dike came out sounding
like she was in mid-stream
orgasm instead of singing! Her
anguished tremolos would have
been better reserved for a
horror movie sound effect than
an attempt at joining the revered
profession of music. If Omotola
got away with her last two
terrible attempts at singing, it
was because Omotola is a
fantastic actress and her fans
could forgive her musical failings
after backtracking her body of
work in Nollywood. With Tonto, I
can't say much either for her
acting depth. She's a one-
dimensional actress in my
opinion, who mistakes notoriety
for fame. She needs more
training in acting and this I say
with all sense of professionalism
as a movie Director. She might
achieve greater heights in acting
if she trains more. But she has
no heights to achieve in singing.
Only a downward plunge, the
stuff bad endings in movies are
made of.